


See Me

by Sweetheart627



Category: Nightwish
Genre: Crushes, M/M, tuomas is at a lost
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-07
Updated: 2014-11-07
Packaged: 2018-02-24 10:03:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2577530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sweetheart627/pseuds/Sweetheart627
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tuomas has a crush on a certain blonde guitarist. Unfortunately, said guitarist doesn't seem to notice. This leads to moodiness, anger, and drinking.</p>
            </blockquote>





	See Me

"Morning Emppu," Tuomas said cheerfully as the keyboardist came into the kitchen area of the bus. Emppu responded with a gruff noise that was meant to be a "good morning", but didn't quite make it out that way. Everyone on board knew that he couldn't make coherent sentences before he had a strong cup of coffee. Once Emppu had sat down, Tuomas kept trying, "Hey, Sunshine, you in the land of the living yet?" The only response he got was Emppu laying his head on the table and snoring lightly. "I guess not. Here, Marco, hand me a piece of that bacon." He waved the fried meat near Emppu's nose, an action that almost cost him a finger as the guitarist suddenly bit the food right out of his hand. This was a stereotypical morning on the Nightwish bus. After breakfast, they pulled into their venue and unpack everything needed for a sound check. Tuomas watched Emppu move around the stage, retuning his guitar, a habit he did every time they did a sound check, now his usual cheery, goofy, smiling self, and Tuomas loved it. The highlight of his day was getting to see Emppu laughing and being the little ball of energy that he was. Of course no one knew this. Tuomas was smart enough to know not to tell anyone about his infatuation.

 

The whole thing had started about a year ago when there was a lot of pressure on the band, on the composer specifically. Emppu had been there whenever he was needed, always with an abundance of encouragement and kindness. It was during these months that Tuomas realized that he cared for Emppu as more than a friend.  He needed that happy, carefree atmosphere that followed Emppu wherever he went and now, a year later, he still hadn't plucked up the courage to tell him. Every morning, he would say "good morning" to the little man, try to be around him as much as possible every day, and sleep directly across from him every night. Tuomas knew that he wasn't really giving any hints, or trying to get the rock hobbit's attention, but he still wished for it. He was almost constantly daydreaming about Emppu coming up and kissing him, or whispering sweet little nothings to him. But he knew that it would probably never amount to anything more than daydreams.

 

Hours later, the band was backstage with some of the VIP fans, each with their own agenda. Floor and Marco were in debate over politics with a few fans, Jukka had disappeared to the bus, Emppu was openly flirting with a voluptuous blonde who was clearly interested, and Tuomas was watching them while trying to listen halfheartedly to a fangirl relate some story about her friend and a cat. He would nod and smile when occasion called for it, but most of his attention was on the blonde with Emppu, or more importantly, the way she as draped across his lap. The girl talking beside him tapped his arm and he turned and smiled apologetically at her, feeling a bit guilty at ignoring her. She said her goodbyes and left and Tuomas looked back to where Emppu had been sitting only to find the spot empty. He scoured the room, but with no sign of the guitarist. With a sigh, Tuomas made his way to the bus, resigning himself to yet another night of bearing not having Emppu for himself. The keyboardist passed a supply closet and stopped when he heard noises from inside. He placed his ear to the door and listened. The noises were definitely of the sexual kind and Tuomas immediately recognized one of the voices as Emppu's. Without even thinking, Tuomas yanked the door open, causing the half naked girl to scream and rush to cover herself. 

 

Emppu quickly pulled his pants up and glared at his friend, "What the fuck, Tuomas! I'm kind of in the middle of something."

 

"Let's go. Everyone's ready to go." This was a blatant lie, but he knew that by the time Emppu actually got to the bus, everyone would be there. The little Finn had no trouble with taking his dear sweet time. Tuomas closed the door and tromped to the bus, now fuming and miserable. _"Well if I'm in a bad mood, why shouldn't he be too."_ And in a bad mood he was. As predicted, everyone made it to the bus before Emppu appeared.

 

He stormed over to where the keyboardist was sitting, "Tuomas! Why the hell did you do that? You knew perfectly well that we were in there, so don't play that card. And saying that everyone was ready to go? Bullshit. I went back to the dressing room and everyone was still there. They said you had been the only one to leave early, so what the hell is you're issue?"

 

 _Because the very thought of you with someone else makes me feel sick to my stomach. Because I want you for myself. Because I love you._ "Because you can do so much better. For all you know, she had some sort of STDs. I mean, did you even know her name? I just think you throw yourself around too much?"

 

"What? Are you calling me easy? Are you being serious right now? You know what I think it is? I think it's because you can't get anyone to fuck for yourself. Yeah, it's been, what, three, four months since you got laid? I think you are just jealous that I can get any girl I want, and you get nothing. Stay the fuck out of my private life." With that, Emppu headed into the sleeping area, slamming the door behind him.

 

Tuomas just sat there, straight-faced. _Shit. Well that went well, didn't it, you fucking idiot? What the hell were you thinking? That he'd just leap into your arms?_ He slept on the couch that night, too ashamed to go back to his bunk. He only hoped tomorrow would be better.

 

It wasn't. Emppu wouldn't even talk to him all day. Every time Tuomas tried to apologize, Emppu would completely ignore him. This continued for the next couple days until Tuomas just couldn't take it anymore. He found himself chugging a bottle of scotch before lunchtime, trying to forget everything. Of course that didn't go over well at the sound check when he was snapping at everyone and obviously on his way to being very drunk. But he didn't stop at one bottle of scotch. Oh, no. By the end of the concert that night, he had downed the scotch, a bottle and a half of wine, and a pint of vodka. Needless to say, he was so drunk he could barely walk straight. After the concert ended, Tuomas didn't even go to the dressing room. He grabbed a bottle of brandy and headed out to the street. Luckily there weren't any fans out there yet and he could roam free. And roam he did. Tuomas let his feet lead the way and roamed the back roads and alleys of whatever city they were in. At this point, he couldn't remember much other than his name and the fact that Emppu, the man he was in love with, hated him.  He alternated between laughing hysterically, crying, or just mumbling angrily to himself. Back at the venue, his absence was starting to be noticed. 

 

"He isn't in the bus and he isn't answering his phone," Jukka said as he came back in from checking their bus. The band and some security stood around in the dressing room. They had searched the venue and its perimeter several times with no sign of the keyboardist. 

 

Ewo finally called everyone in that they could, "Alright listen up. Tuomas has gone missing. He was extremely drunk today so odds are he just wandered away. We need to split up and search the surrounding area. He couldn't have gotten too far. We can't leave without him. Keep your phones on you. Everyone good? Ok, let's go." The band, crew, and venue staff all filed out and spread to the neighborhoods nearby looking for the missing band member.

 

It had only been about half an hour when Emppu found him. He looked down an alleyway and saw Tuomas sitting on the ground, legs spread out in front of him and his head bowed. The blond sent a text saying where he was and that he had found him before going to get Tuomas. "There you are. Come on, everyone's out looking for you." He shook Tuomas's shoulder and the keyboardist looked up at him slowly.  His eyes were lidded, red, and bloodshot. He struggled to focus on the fuzzy shape in front of him. When he realized that it was a human, he jumped up, or more stumbled to his feet, and began pacing.

 

"No no. Mmmm not going back. Can't. He hates me now. It's no use." Tuomas leaned against the brick wall and began sobbing. This must've taken a lot out of him because he suddenly leaned over and vomited. His whole body shook with the waves of nausea. Emppu ran over and pulled his hair out of the firing line. Once Tuomas had calmed down, Emppu sat him down on a crate nearby and knelt in front of him.

 

"Now then, who hates you?"

 

Tuomas sniffled and wiped his nose on his sleeve, "Emppu. I made him angry and now he hates me."

 

"I don't hate you, Tuomas. True, I was a little a little pissed, but I don't hate you."

 

"Yes he does." Tuomas sobbed, still not realizing that it was Emppu tending to him. "He hates me and now I can't tell him 'cause he'll just hate me more."

 

"What can't you tell me?"

 

"That I love him," Tuomas wailed. He lowered his head into his hands and cried. Emppu could hear him whispering and leaned in close, "I just didn't want to see him with someone else. I didn't want him with that girl." Emppu smiled sadly, finally understanding the situation, and wrapped one of Tuomas's arms around his neck, helping him stand.

 

"I see. Well I'm sure Emppu's not angry with you now." He saw Jukka across the street and called him over. The two of them got Tuomas back to the bus and in bed, but Emppu stayed up with him. He needed some time to think about what he had just heard. Was Tuomas serious, or was it just drunk mumblings?

 

The next morning, Tuomas woke up to the worst headache he had ever felt. He had no sooner opened his eyes, then a wave of nausea rushed over him. He barely had time to roll over to the edge of the bunk before all the booze he had downed yesterday came rushing back up. It was very lucky that Emppu was ready and waiting with a bucket. Once Tuomas's stomach had stopped heaving, he lay back and just prayed for some relief from the splitting migraine. "What the hell happened last night." Emppu explained everything, but decided to leave out the confession bit. Time enough to deal with that later. For now Tuomas needed rest. 

 

It was two days later before the incident was brought up again. The band had just finished the sound check and were getting ready to go do some sight seeing, when Emppu pulled Tuomas to the side. "Hey can I talk to you for a minute."

 

"Sure." The two of them sat down at one of the bar tables in the venue.

 

"I kind of left something out about the other night. When I found you in that alley, you said something that's been on my mind a lot lately." Tuomas visibly paled, but said nothing. "You said that you were in love with me. Now here me out before you say anything. The reason that I have been getting girls a lot more than usual is because I'm tired of not having someone of my own, if that makes any sense. I needed that connection with someone and those girls were more than happy to give it, for however brief a time. So if what you said is true, than I'm willing to give it a go. You are the best friend I've ever had and I would be lying if I said I haven't thought about being with a man before. And I can't think of anyone better to try it for the first time with than you. Now this is all for if you were being honest that night. If you were just really drunk, then it's not a big deal and we can both forget it."

 

Tuomas stopped him by leaning over and gently kissing him. It was just a quick little peck, but it was enough. "I meant it."

 

Emppu sighed with relief. "Ok, good. Then this won't be really awkward. So like I said, I'm willing to give it a go and see what happens, but let's take it slow. I need to adjust myself a bit, but I want to do it. K?"

 

"Ok. Yeah, slow is good. I need slow. Why don't we start with this," he stood up and took Emppu's hand, "and go see some of the city?"

 

"I think this," Emppu held up their hands, "is a perfect start. Come on, let's get out of here." Tuomas had to keep himself from skipping out of the theater, he was so happy. Finally, after all this time, he was seen by the one person he wanted to see him. His Emppu.


End file.
